Saturday, August 31, 2013

Hello again! I know it's been a long time. I really missed writing and sharing my heart with you all but I took a much needed hiatus over the summer to deal with some health problems and can I just say that GOD IS SO GOOD! Without going into all of the gory details I had major surgery 11 weeks ago that could have taken up to a year to heal and while it's still a process I am almost as good as new already! I feel great and I am ready to get back to business.

One of my biggest fears has always been losing control. I have always needed to be in charge-that is probably my biggest stumbling block and what kept me from being able to allow God to take charge of my life for so long. It's scary! Whether it is in my marriage, my career, parenting or my kitchen, I am a tiny bit of a control freak. Having the surgery forced me to relinquish control of EVERYTHING and was hands down one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thank you so much to my family for putting up with me! i know it wasn't easy. I am so blessed!

And I am not in control. Why is it so hard to really accept that? I mean, I know that God's in charge. But I think that somewhere in heart I have been holding onto the reigns and He used this time where I was completely dependent on others for EVERYTHING to show me this. It's going to be a process. Like healing from a surgery it isn't going to happen over night. And there are times when I'll be rebellious and try to do something I'm not supposed to without asking for help or seeking His will first. And there will be setbacks. But even so he is in control. And I have nothing to fear.